Herring Potter - Part 2

Herring Potter And The Sorcerer's Salmon - Sorting Shenannigans

Herring Potter sat with Tron and Mermione in the great hall, surrounded by thousands of first year students, all eagerly awaiting what was about to happen. Suddenly, the lights went out, and everyone screamed. A square illuminated in the centre of the room. Herring knew he recognized it...

"Say, that looks suspicious like-" Herring was cut off by a booming voice;

"I AM THE SORTING MAC!" it shouted, echoing through the halls. Sure enough, it was an enchanted Apple Macintosh, floating promptly above a table. "AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE TRADITIONAL SORTING MAC SONG!"

"When Dogwarts was first opened,
I used to be a hat,
But then I got upgraded,
And became the Sorting Mac!

My processors are lightning speed,
And my monitor's at top resolution,
Character and personality,
Depend on your distribution

Spiffindor are pure of heart,
And normally very kind,
But catch one in a bad mood,
And their fury makes them blind

Snytherin aren't so nice,
In fact they're fairly tricky,
Devious, cunning and somewhat evil,
And also rather icky.

Ravensnore are a lazy bunch,
I find them rather boring,
They may be fairly brainy,
If you haven't caught them snoring

Everyone forgets Dufflegruff,
They're often left out of stuff,
Being unknown and unpopular,
Makes you a perfect Dufflegruff.

Log onto my server,
And hold on tight,
If all goes to plan,
Your house will be right."

Everyone looked at the Mac in awe and wonder, and a little bit of puzzlement. Before anyone had time to utter a sound, the Mac Boomed out the first name;

"Absath Aardvark."

"Aaw, I'm always first!" Absath cried with dismay. He sat on a stool, positioned in front of the Sorting Mac, and clicked about with the mouse for a few seconds. The Mac screamed out;

"RAVENSNORE!" It paused for a few seconds before shouting out the next name, "Abbie Azray!"

By Herring's logic, Tron would be sorted first. Surely enough, he was called up only a few minutes later. Within seconds, he was sorted into Spiffindor.

"HERRING POTTER!" it screamed. Herring could hear his name echo all around the halls, ringing in his ears. The slowly walked up, his fish-knees trembling. Carefully perching on the stool, he placed his hand on the mouse.

"WELCOME TO THE SORTING CHAT - PLEASE LOG IN"

Herring quickly typed his name in, before proceeding into the chat.

T3hS0rtinGH47: hi
T3hS0rtinGH47: r u there?
T3hS0rtinGH47: r u there??

Herring quickly replied. Typing with his fishboy hands was much harder work than he'd anticipated.

HerringPotter: Yehsk I;'n UHegtre!
T3hS0rtinGH47: kool
T3hS0rtinGH47: r u there????
T3hS0rtinGH47: r u there???????
T3hS0rtinGH47: r u there???

Herring was growing weary of this quickly. He typed up another line;

HerringPotter: Whayt HOisue amnm I iN"?
T3hS0rtinGH47: house, eh????????
T3hS0rtinGH47: u r in SPIFFINDOR!

The word Spiffindor emitted out of the speakers, so loud Herring was blown backwards off his seat. After collecting the remaining shards of his dignity, he went to join Mermione and Tron. Tron thumped him roughly on the back.

"Congratulations! Although all the historic fishboys in Dogwarts have been Spiffindor."

The sorting continued, and everyone was... well, sorted. Mermione was also in Spiffindor, much to Tron's surprise.

"I saw her as more of a Ravensnore, myself."

Finally, everyone had been sorted, and were chatting amonst themselves. Al-bus Dumbledore stepped up.

"Hello, and welcome. Now you are all housed, I guess it would be time for the feast. However, I ate it all myself, so off to common rooms!"

Students exchanged glances, before heading up to their rooms. At least Herring was with his new found friends, and not with creepy old Mattfoy. He didn't think he could take an entire year of invisible thugs.

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Well, I didn't even get to professors this time XD This is gonna take a long time...